"Alright, they're toys. They're toy cars. If I wanted to race real cars, I'd play Gran Turismo."

   Title: Re-Volt

   Format: PC

   Reviewing Monkey: The Goodyear Chimp

   The Hype: "Acclaim's R/C car racing game takes the racing genre and turns it on it's head. Where you couldn't go before, there are now no limits. The robust vehicles tumble around all kinds of locations, impossible to break, using whatever tactics necessary to gain first place in the race. Finally, frustrated kids of all ages can drive their R/C cars where their moms would never have let them!" Where I couldn't go before, there are now no limits? What is this, a Harry Potter novel? Plus, who calls vehicles "robust?" They're cars, not wine.

      What This Monkey Thought...

   Graphics: 5 of 5--This looks exactly like my neighborhood. Details down to the lighting are exact like Da-freaking-Vinci. The most attention is paid, of course, to the vehicles. In total, there are more than thirty cars (not counting those you can download from fan sites) and each one is tightly packed with decals, plastic textures, and simulated chrome. The only thing more beautiful than watching them cruise down the aisles of the supermarket is seeing the crispy flare of a bottle rocket blow one into the produce.

   Game Play: 4 of 5--Alright, they're toys. They're toy cars. If I wanted to race real cars, I'd play Gran Turismo. Still, I can't help but mention how easy it is to spin one of the little buggers out. Once you've seen that, then you have caught the lone flaw in the game play. There's nothing else to do here but race and shoot and the simplicity is welcome. Getting the hang of driving is easy since the game won't let you touch the wild vehicles till you've got some trophies under your belt. You could play this on the keyboard, but I recommend grabbing a game pad with four buttons and going to town. If anyone asks where the controls for manual transmission are, I'll shoot 'em. Weapons range from bottle rockets to water balloons that whistle and sploosh just like the real things.

   Multiplayer & Replayability: 3 of 5--Here's where things slow up a tiny bit. This is more of a racer for the at-home, on-your-own nerd. The multiplayer is limited to pure racing (with or without weapons) and a tag mode that's nearly pointless if you don't have three or more to play with. I wouldn't be so critical if they didn't give the game so much potential. Everyone knows that car games with weapons have battle modes and that option is dearly missed. When it comes home, the family will rejoice but it doesn't look like Acclaim is doing any updates soon. The only reason I didn't drop a "2" in my rating for this category is the replayability. Once you've beaten it, you've beaten it. But there's this little thing called a level editor that means that you can dork out forever and ever, amen. Plus, a little drop in to the various fan sites that are on the web will have you jumping to make your own cars in no time.

   Story/Dramatics: 1 of 5--Story? The toys have minds of their own? Lame. Still, it's a racing game: who needs it?

   Instructions, Installation, and Real System Requirements: 4 out of 5. The instructions are brief but adequate. I disapprove of this new fashion of making the booklets too big to fit in the CD cases (can't we take a clue from the PlayStation?) but you won't be looking at them passed the beginning anyway. Installation is faster than a hyena on a bike and the system requirements are pretty standard for today. (Actual, boring numbers are at the end.)

   The Verdict:

This monkey is sold. Re-Volt is a killer racer with the benefit of keen editing features (thank god for PCs). This rocks my butt like boulders in my back pocket. It will make you happy if you can locate a copy of it.

   The Good: The scenery, the cars, and the track editor; all good enough for Gandhi.

   The Bad: The old grey multiplayer ain't what she used to be.

   The Overall Ugly: For what I bought it for, it's a steal. If you find it in the bin at some dinkus game store, pull out your wallet and pay the man. NVIDIA didn't name it Game Achievement of the Year for 1999 to have it sit on store shelves.

   What it's Worth: $20 (cause that's what it's selling for down at the carwash)