" You'll defend them from atop a pile of the bodies of those who tried to take them from you. Just like I've done here in the office. "

      Title: 251 Gaming Theater by Altec Lansing

      Format: PC Speaker System

      Reviewing Monkey: Dungapult

      The Hype: The box screams "Feel the action!" in bright red letters- and with this set up you just might. This 6 speaker, 90 watts surround sound monstrosity definitely has the power to infuse sound directly into your spinal column and make you numb from the waist down. The question, though, is does it do it in a fun "Nurse Ratchet, I need a sponge bath" or a scary "Bruno my male assistant touched me again" kind of way? Read on, my Monkeys, to find out for yourself.

      What This Monkey Thought...

      Features: Well, it has speakers…and it delivers sound…so I guess that's all the features you could want, right? Wrong, Mi Monkey Amigos. Not only does this set up have a pretty badass 6 speaker setup, but it also has components designed to enable getting maximum benefits from your sound producing machinery. The suggested use (and what I'm sure most people will buy it for) is PC surround sound, for use with some of the Dolby 5.1 movies and games out there. Thus, the connection cables are all color coded to fit your 5.1 enabled sound card. Just in case you're not content to only hook them up to your PC, however, the instructions and cabling are also designed to be used with just about any other piece of stereo known to man. The base connection on the set is a single port multi-channel plug (standard headphones jack) so you can plug the set into any walk man, CD player, or standard audio card. An included bi-channel splitter allows you to convert the standard jack into AV cables so you can use 'em for stereo speakers with your VCR, PS2, or Xbox. Of course, both of these last two options mean that you'll only be getting stereo sound from the speakers, so they've included integrated plug covers for the surround inputs (to make sure you don't get feed back). And, as if all that wasn't enough, a forward mounted headphone jack and 3 section volume controls means that no matter how you have it set up you can balance the sound just right (or plug your ears in to keep your roommates from going nuts). All in all, amazing. 5 out of 5

      Performance: When we first got the speakers in, some of the audiophile Monkeys here in the office were concerned that 90 watts just wasn't enough power. Well, let me tell you, once you set them up a few feet from your melon and blast the sound, you'll find it's more than enough to melt your brain 'till it oozes like warm butter from your ears. I even tried hooking them up to my DVD player and cranked them up to see how they'd sound, and was surprised to find that even at those volumes I couldn't help but be impressed with the sound clarity and quality. Smooth, steady, and crisp- once you get this baby rocking you'll never want to go back to your head phones again. 5 out of 5

      How it Compares: Though the quality of your surround sound is more a product of your card, the actual crispness and clarity of the sound is all about the speakers. That being said, when I compared these babies with some of the other 6 speaker units on the market I was amazed at the difference. Add to that the extra connection options they offer in the box and there's really no contest. These are an "A" grade set all the way. 5 out of 5

      The Verdict:

I have to admit, I'd always been one to scoff at the uber geeks with surround sound on their computers…That is, until I got it myself. And whatever you may think of those geeks now, I promise once you get a game with solid surround capabilities (like Unreal Tournament) on these puppies you'll be a convert too.

      The Good: Great sound, lots of connectivity options, multi function volume control, forward mounted headphone jacks…Jeez, what more do you want?

      The Bad: Um…People laughed at me when I tried to get on the plane with these hooked up to my portable CD player.

      The Overall Ugly: You need these…and, once you get them, you'll defend them from atop a pile of the bodies of those who tried to take them from you. Just like I've done here in the office.

      What it's Worth: Market