" If ever there was good solid proof that the religious right is correct in its assumption that we've become depraved, lazy, and decadent in our rejection of church and good X-ian morals, Jackass is it. "
Title: Jackass: The Movie by Paramount Home Video
Reviewing Monkey: EEGAH!
The Hype: 84 + minutes of braindead chicanery based on the hit television show, Jackass.
What This Monkey Thought...
Story and Acting: Neither
of these really apply here. Yet for the sake of the uninitiated I will do my
best to enlighten: Knoxville and company perpetrate some of the most heinous,
vile, lame-brained, mean spirited (often to the point of cruelty), yet ultimately
hilarious pranks the likes of which you would expect from any fifteen year old
high school dropout. Only these ribs are performed by thirty year olds whose
high school records were still not available at press time.
You'll be treated to such time honored classics as: The Alligator Tightrope, wherein inimitable dickbrain Steve-O attempts to walk what appears to be an inch and a half wide length of PVC pipe suspended over an alligator pit with raw meat hanging out of the back of his jock strap, Dave England withholding a crap for an indeterminate amount of time so as to use a floor model toilet at a plumbing store only to drop his load in the van before they even get there, and what I believe to be the coup de grace Ryan Dunn lubing up a condom with a toy car in it and cramming it into his dirt chute (a stunt that even Steve-O declined to do which should tell you a lot). These and much more you'll find in this hour and twenty four minute celebration of the moron that lurks in the heart of everyman.
When all was said and done, I laughed. A lot in fact. As with the show there was a lot of filler, which is to say stupid three second segments like someone leaping into a full speed ceiling fan. But really, what do you expect when you give a bunch of morons cameras and a budget of millions and say "Do as you will"?
If I based the scale on story and acting as it is written in the Game Monkey review form, Jackass would rate a zero out of a possible score of five, technically speaking. However, since neither of these things really reflect the point of the show, a more fitting application would be Originality and Danger Level. In which case I would see fit to give it a sound 3 ½ out of 5.
DVD Extras: The disc boasts five hours worth of worth of awe inspiringly vapid shenanigans, including but not limited to; making-of documentary (which seems sort of ambitious to me), outtakes, deleted material (which is comprised in large part of extended scenes), music videos, and two commentary tracks featuring Knoxville, the director and producer on one, and the full cast on the other. In all, there should be enough here to bust up or sicken even the most jaded viewer. 4 ½ out of 5
Value vs. Price: It was funny, but not twenty dollars worth of funny. I would at this point have to hazard a guess that anyone reading this review is already well aware of Knoxville and his merry band of assholes, and I would further assume that if you've made it this far into the review you're obviously a fan as well. Therefore I would reason that considerations such as "value versus price" are not very weighty decisions in your doubtlessly vast field of human experience. If you're still trying to figure out if I'm making fun of you the answer is yes, I am. 2 ½ out of 5
|The stunts were funny but writing about it a day later I feel like I watched no more than a Jackass marathon on television. Same stunts, just more expensive execution and slightly better (though not by far) production values. As with the show there are brief moments of pointless stupidity, which break up the momentum. Decently loaded features department gains a little of that back, though.|
The Good: It's funny to revel in someone else's misery for a change. Plus, it perpetuates Darwin's theory of natural selection by inspiring other like-minded shitheads to borrow their parents' video cameras so their friends can catch their last hi-larious moments on earth.
The Bad: I don't know what they spent the studio's money on, but I think it's safe to say that a lot of it didn't end up on the screen. A select few segments should never have made it into the film. You'll end up with an overwhelming urge to smash Bam Margera's face with a brick.
The Overall Ugly: If ever there was good solid proof that the religious right is correct in its assumption that we've become depraved, lazy, and decadent in our rejection of church and good X-ian morals, Jackass is it. It's for these same reasons that I will defend to my very death their right as good, hearty, albeit crazy and stupid Americans to wave the banner of moral bankruptcy. GOD BLESS AMERICA!
What it's Worth: I would urge you NOT to put money into the filthy, greedy pockets of MTV, but if you must, my recommendation is to pay no more than fifteen or sixteen dollars.