" Hmmm…Almost makes me want to dump Cheetah for some 600 pound southern gal who’ll make me hunt rodents and aliens to feed her voracious appetites…Or maybe not. "

      Title: Feedin’ Chloe by Arush Games

      Format: PC Shooter

      Reviewing Monkey: Dungapult

      The Hype: You know, there’s a damned comical portion of our population that just doesn’t get enough humorous attention- those darned red necks! Why, they don’t get made fun of, poked at, or pranked on nearly enough…or at least, so Arush thought (and, frankly, I agree with them). And thus, Feedin’ Chloe was born.

      What This Monkey Thought...

      Graphics: Some very brilliant Monkey, many, many moons ago, figured out that if you’re going to tone a game down graphically so that it would run on a variety of systems, the best way to do it was to make it "cartoony"…And that Monkey should have joined the space program. Heeding whoever it was’ great inspiration, Arush decided that they wouldn’t limit lower end gamer’s ability to play but didn’t want to outcast those of us with decent machines, either. The result is a game that is wonderfully 2D animated, with vibrant colors and lush comedic values, but that’s a little rough around the edges. Still, when you realize that you’re huntin’ squirrel and opossum for dinner (more on this in a second) it probably fits the mood perfectly. 3 out of 5

      Sound: I want you to close your eyes for a second. No, really…go ahead. I won’t do anything to you while you’re temporarily blind…Okay, good. Now I want you to imagine Jeff Foxworthy (the "you might be a red neck" guy) doing his best lowland hick impression. Now, I want you to imagine what his critically obese and hygienically challenged wife might sound like. Now, I want you to imagine them both making lots of sheep shearing and butt crackin’ jokes. And, if you’ve got a good enough imagination and that made you laugh, then you’ll have a good picture of what the audio in here is like. Funny, fresh, and beautifully acted…Feedin’ Chloe had me cracking red neck jokes for weeks. 5 out of 5

      Game Play: Though this game is called a "hunting parody" it really devolves simply into a cartoony FPS…, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The down side is that, as with all FPS’, it gets old sort of quickly and offers little new as far as actual game play goes. On the plus side, though…It lets you go 1 on 1 with a seriously pissed off buck and some screwed up brown bears! Run around, get bigger, better, and more disgusting weapons (Buzzard Poop anyone?), and slag the hell out of cute and fuzzy little animals with them. Keen. The only real problems (in addition to the lack of genre breaking properties), and they are definitely noticeable, is the very questionable AI (you’ll enjoy having them stick on scenery and only go after you when you get so close) and the rather formulaic style of play. Still, all in all, I had a hellova good time playing it. Hmmm…Almost makes me want to dump Cheetah for some 600 pound southern gal who’ll make me hunt rodents and aliens to feed her voracious appetites…Or maybe not. 3 out of 5

      Level and Environment Designs: Unfortunately, part of making the game run on lower end systems was making the environments really simple. Grass is a green pastel slab. Trees are darker green slabs with some highlights. Sky is a blue pastel slab. And there’s a lot of blank space in between. Oh well, at least it doesn’t actually detract from game play at all. 2 out of 5

      Multiplayer: None. And, though I should dock them for it…there are just so many other FPS’ out there I think they just felt it wasn’t worth including- and I think they were right. Hell, why have that many more servers up hogging bandwidth?

      Replayability: Okay, here is where Feedin’ Chloe (like all other Arush games) truly shine. They are all what is called "Webisodic." That being, that you download the first level for free (like a demo) and then each additional level for 5 bucks when, and if, you’re ready for then. And, while that doesn’t actually add to replayability (in truth the game is a little short), what it does do is let you only pay for as much of the game as you want to play! So, if you’re board after the first three levels, you’ve gotten away with most of your money still in your pocket. And that’s damned cool! 5 out of 5

      Story/Dramatics: Another brilliant point in a genuinely fun game. The story is about Ed (the "hero"…And boy do I use that term loosely) and his wife Chloe. Chloe, and there’s no more elegant way to put this, is a big fat fatty. So much so that she never quite gets enough to eat. And so, exercising that inexplicable power all women have over men (she punctuates it with some rather gruesome displays…But that’s all I’m saying) she is constantly sending Ed out to hunt her some grub. To do that, he uses everything from hubcaps to shot guns to potato cannons to bfg’s. Make it back in time and Chloe is happy and showers her love on you. Fail and she may just nibble your toes off.
          Fun, silly, and incredibly entertaining, this game made me giggle a lot. 4 out of 5

      Instructions and Learning Curve: Well, since you down load it there are no paper instructions…, which is bad. However, this game is so simple if you need ‘em you probably deserve to be a character in this game more than a moron playing it. 4 out of 5

      Installation and Real System Requirements: Well, we played it on some AMD 450’s and it ran fine…Plus, it gave me no reason to believe it wouldn’t run on the P2-266 they say it will. On the bummer side, though…Lots of downloading involved. 4 out of 5

      The Verdict:

We ain’t breakin’ new ground here…but the old ground we’re turning sure is a lot of fun. Comical, witty, and damned entertaining…Feedin’ Chloe is definitely worth checking out.

      The Good: Funny, smart, and makes fun of red necks…can’t ever go wrong there.

      The Bad: Little simple, very short, and really puts nothing new on the FPS genre.

      The Overall Ugly: Despite it’s elementary game play, this really is a damned fun game. Give it a shot.

      What it's Worth: Way more than they’re charging…Especially when you realize you only have to pay for what you want to play.