" Does that sound like fun? No, I didn’t think so. "

      Title: Dragon’s Lair 2 by Digital Leisure

      Format: DVD Cartoon Game

      Reviewing Monkey: Dungapult

      The Hype: If you’re old enough to remember this Don Bluth animated arcade smash, then you’ll probably be glad to hear it’s finally come to a DVD player near you! A direct port, it’s 10 years behind the times…But does it still hold up? Read on, my Monkeys…

      What This Monkey Thought...

      Graphics: Far and away the truly shining part of this game, the graphics are fantastic. That, simply put, is because the entire game is 100% Don Bluth cartoon (the guy who did Titan A.E., The Secret of NIMH, etc.). Beautiful and flashy, there is no reason not to love the look here. 5 out of 5

      Sound: Like most of Bluth’s work, the soundtrack is fantastic. Though there is almost no actual dialogue, the background music is dramatic, dynamic, and rises and falls nicely with the flow of the game. The addition of our heroes cries, yelps, gulps, and gasps is also a nice touch. 4 out of 5

      Game Play: Okay…Here the flung poop hits the proverbial fan. As I mentioned before, this game originally hit the arcades something like 10 years ago…And back then it was killer. The gaming premise, simply enough, is that as you go through this cartoon adventure, you will be prompted by a quickly flashing symbol to either push the directional pad or your attack button. If you succeed, you progress. If you fail, you die and get to start a whole hellova lot over. As a result, not only is the game completely linear (since you never actually get to affect the course of play) but it also quickly devolves into "memorize the next series of moves." And that’s it. End of story. And, as if that wasn’t bad enough, the DVD has serious lag problems on the majority of the players out there (including the PS2). So, in the end, you’ll probably rather have your testicles pounded flat (thank you Mr. Allen) with a wooden hammer than make any real progress in this game. .5 out of 5

      Level and Environment Designs: I’m not going to rate this category as, technically, there is no background or environment since the entire game is a non-effected linear cartoon. It, of course, has the same high quality animation as everything else but if you can’t explore it, I can’t call it a level.

      Multiplayer: None…Which is probably for the best. "Okay…Now you press left! Okay…Now I press right! Okay…"

      Replayability: Shit…I couldn’t finish it the first time. The closest I came, and I should say the closest "we" came, is at a Game Monkeys meeting when we got a little overly into the spiked banana shakes and actually resorted to writing down the sequences as we came to them. Does that sound like fun? No, I didn’t think so. 0 out of 5

      Story/Dramatics: For a game that is nothing but a run through cartoon, I was really put out by the complete lack of story! And I mean, there is none! No set up, no drama, no impetus to do jack. You’re a knight…So have to do knightly things. It really bit. 1 out of 5

      Instructions and Learning Curve: Well, there really aren’t any instructions necessary…Which is nice. But, if you consider that no one I know who’s ever played this game has ever become proficient at it, I guess I’d consider the learning curve to be pretty steep. 1 out of 5

      Installation and Real System Requirements: It’s a DVD…That means pop it in, grab your remote (or controller for the PS2), and get ready to go. Unfortunately, as I said before, it has really bad lag issues on a lot of players so what little game play you get is ruined. 2 out of 5

      The Verdict:

In the end, the only way I’d want to play more Dragon’s Lair 2 is if I could find an old arcade stand up…And even then I’m struck by the old saying that, "not everything old should be made new." A title that really should have been left in the past.

      The Good: Great animation and soundtrack.

      The Bad: Absolutely no game play, replay, or true entertainment value.

      The Overall Ugly: Unless you have a serious nostalgia kick, I’d avoid this completely.

      What it's Worth: A five minute play session strictly to remember how cool it was "way back when…"